


Amnesia

by Kelakair, noppe



Category: Naruto
Genre: Kakashi has tried his best, Kakashi’s last years, M/M, ObiKaka, Orochimaru is really helpful, Post-War, Team Seven’s bonds, so have Team Seven
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2021-02-18 07:35:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21690787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kelakair/pseuds/Kelakair, https://archiveofourown.org/users/noppe/pseuds/noppe
Summary: Kakashi begins to forget things as he grows old. In order to keep someone in mind until his death, a decision had to be made.Translated from chinese with permission.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Uchiha Obito
Comments: 13
Kudos: 156





	Amnesia

Amnesia 

1

Kakashi could feel that he was aging. 

His chakra levels decreased to levels even lower than when he had the sharingan, and old wounds on his legs restricted his movements. But the most prominent issue was the rapid deterioration of his memory. During ANBU he could recite the smallest details from month long missions, as Hokage he could remember the names of every single staff in each department; but now, after visiting his father and sensei’s grave, suddenly he would forget the way home, sitting on a street side bench for an hour before he slowly remembered. 

Kakashi knew he should be satisfied. He was over seventy. Not all shinobi lived to be this age, the age to get amnesia— just two months ago he attended Gai’s funeral. Gai was a cheerful — and youthful — old man until the end. Lying on his bed and straining to give Kakashi a thumbs up and withered smile, saying he would greet their comrades for him, so Kakashi don’t have to be hasty in coming over.

Their generation was born in the Second Shinobi War’s shadow, and grew up in the Third Shinobi War’s battlefield. After becoming the pillar of Konoha, they experienced the last, bloodiest, largest Fourth Shinobi War. For them to be able to see a peaceful postwar era and witness the ‘jade’ of the next generation grow up instead of resting ten feet under in a grave, it was a blessing they hadn’t dared to imagine. 

But amnesia continued to trouble Kakashi. Small inconveniences day to day could be overlooked, but the thing is, Kakashi could feel that he was losing memories from his younger years. Too many of his important people lives in the past, some having not even left behind a grave or name, and some won’t ever be remembered by or talked about as a hero aside from himself. His memories were the only thing he had, in order to remember _that_ _person_. 

For the first time in years, the calm and collected Sixth Hokage felt uneasy. Though, it was well concealed. So well concealed even his three students had not picked up upon it. After night after night of worrying anxiety, Kakashi decided he needed to do something.

The next day, he visited Orochimaru.

2  
The first person to discover issues with Kakashi’s memory was Naruto. 

He had decided to call his sensei home for dinner, and Boruto had volunteered happily for the task of inviting the retired Hokage. But Kakashi mistook him for his grandfather and refused to admit he got the wrong person. Boruto had ran home in a fearful frenzy and brought Naruto back, who flew Kakashi to the hospital in a bustling rush.

Sakura abandoned the embassy medical team from Kiri and gave her sensei a full body check-up, during which Kakashi had to be sedated because he insisted he was fine and refused to cooperate. 

Three hours later and holding sheets of medical report, the pair stood beside their sensei’s sleeping figure in a heavy silence. 

Urgent footsteps echoed in the hallway. Naruto turned around to see the hospital room door being shoved open, followed by the stare of a red eye filled with anxious concern that could not be hidden. 

“What happened?” Sasuke asked quietly, sharingan sweeping across the silver haired man lying on the bed before spinning back into its ordinary black. Remnants of soil and leaves from just outside Konoha were still stuck on his boots. 

“Nothing.” His wife replied. Sakura turned, expression calm as she wiped away tear tracks staining her cheek. 

“Sensei’s just… old.” 

Kakashi woke up as the sun set. Realising he was in the hospital, with all three students who were some of the busiest people in Konoha crowded around his bed, Kakashi looked obviously lost. 

“Sensei, do you still recognise me?” Naruto leaned forward, asking carefully as he looked into his eyes.

“Of course. You’re Naruto.” Kakashi replied without thinking. He frowned at the other two who had also leant in, “Sakura, and Sasuke. Why are you asking me that? Why am I in the…” 

Abruptly, Kakashi stopped. Looking at his expression, the three students knew their teacher had understood what happened.

3

Kakashi politely declined his students’ invitation into their homes. They weren’t young anymore, either, the hero that had once saved the world was past fifty years old and even Boruto and Sarada had become parents. Even Himawari was getting married next month. Yes, it’s true Team 7 will always be one, but his students had their own families and important people, that’s something as an outsider he shouldn’t intrude in on. 

Moreover, Kakashi’s pride wouldn’t let himself be looked after like a senior without the ability to care for himself, either. 

“I’m not at the stage where I can’t live normally.” He repeated again, and again, “You guys don’t need to come every day…… Every week. Each person. No more than that.” 

In the end he reluctantly accepted Sakura’s suggestion; the three students will each spend a day with him every week, and at least one person will stay overnight. 

Team 7 was not satisfied with the result, though Kakashi declared that was the bottom line he would accept, so they had to give in. 

Kakashi lifted the pen. He had decided to write about the things and people he didn’t want to forget while the majority of his memory is still intact. As his successor and the person who was by his side for the longest time, Naruto helped his sensei, filling in details he had forgotten of their times together. Sakura occasionally helped him fix the convoluted sentence and incorrect kanji, while Sasuke bound the finished recounts in chronological order. 

It wasn’t an easy process. Often, Kakashi would mistake Naruto for Minato, glare hostilely at Sasuke— he seemed to have substituted him with a distant, unfriendly Uchiha. Towards Sakura he was distant despite being polite, and refused to let her into his house since he had completely forgotten who the pink haired woman was. 

These confusions of memory was periodic. Facing their teacher who was wracked with guilt for his previous attitudes each time he regained clarity, team seven responded with the most gentleness and patience they could muster, repeating over and over, it wasn’t his fault, they all understand. 

But understanding doesn’t equate to acceptance. It was during those days that Sakura could be found wiping away tears behind Kakashi’s back; that Naruto would shut himself alone after returning home, curling up in a chair and hiding away, head in his arms. On the other side of the village, Sasuke would head towards the long abandoned Uchiha district, sitting still as a statue for hours on end before the graves of his parents and the headstone of Itachi. 

To stand powerless on the sidelines and watch the most intelligent and talented person you know gradually become dull and lifeless— for the three of them, there was nothing more painful than that. 

Team seven did everything they could to delay the deterioration of their sensei’s memory. However, the tragedy that was bound to happen had to occur. 

The eighth month after that inspection, Kakashi had lost _all_ of his memories. 

4

Now permanently residing in the hospital, Kakashi refused all interaction with Sakura and Sasuke, only occasionally speaking a sentence or two to Naruto— and that was under the circumstance that he had mistaken the blonde for Minato. More often than not, he would look at Naruto with the gaze reserved for strangers. What was more concerning was that he had began to refuse food and sleep. Each day all he would do was lean against the bed’s headboard, staring blankly at the pristine white sheets. 

It was not long after Kakashi’s admission into the hospital that Orochimaru visited. After numerous experiments with the left over white zetsus, the snake scientist had finally managed the art of immortality, hopping from one container to the next. He looked no different from a decade, or even multiple decades ago. 

“Don’t worry,” former member of the sannin eyed Kakashi, all but skin and bones, leaning against the beds headboard. The former Hokage stared back, face blank but suspicion and hostility spilling from the depth of his eyes. Orochimaru stuffed his hands into his pockets. “I won’t bother you like the three kids, all I want is just a few words.” 

He stopped in front of the hospital bed, pulling out a strip of paper and placed it in Kakashi’s palm. “This is the second thing you requested of me previously. Now I’ve kept my promise, I hope the third thing wouldn’t come too fast. Do you still know how to read? Do you need me to read it?” 

Kakashi glanced down at the paper. In that split moment, something ignited in his previously lifeless eyes, as if something bright and colourful had bloomed. 

Orochimaru smiled, satisfied. “I guess not.” 

After Orochimaru left, Kakashi suddenly became cooperative. He returned to a normal sleep schedule and listened to the advice of nurses, eating his meals properly at proper times. While he still couldn’t recognise team seven, he no longer rejected their presence, even allowing that tiny tad of physical contact on occasion. 

Naruto began reading to his sensei the recounts they had compiled together, tirelessly introducing to him Sasuke, Sakura and himself every day. The three of them came daily now; Naruto was planning on passing on the hat—— being branded as the messiah had kept him on the Hokage set for way too long —— Sakura was also striving to groom the next hospital head, and Sasuke limited his travels even further, from just Fire country to the tiny space surrounding Konoha. Every morning Kakashi would rewatch the memory of their first bell test with his students and Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura’s impressions of that day they had jotted down before. 

After reading those recounts and watching the memories, Kakashi’s gaze towards his students would once again be coloured with some warmth, occasionally creasing his eyes into that signature smile that team seven was so familiar with, and now made their heart ache. 

_Sorry. To forget you guys, I’m really sorry._ The smile seemed to say. 

Apart from reading recounts, most of what Kakashi does each day consists of looking through photo albums. After the war Team seven had taken a multitude of photos, sometimes even with Hinata, Boruto, Himwari and Sarada. Apart from those two families, Kakashi also had numerous pictures with Shikamaru, Gai, Kurenai, Mirai and others; together with official photos taken during events as Hokage, it made the album very thick, consisting of several heavily bound volumes that allowed him to spend all day flipping through them slowly, from morning to night before forgetting the next day and starting all over again. 

He spent most of his time on this cycle, but Sasuke noticed when his teacher looked at the people who stood with him in those photos, there was no recognition, hi gaze remained indifferent. The only pictures that incited a change was not Sakumo, not Team Seven, but the few remaining photos from Team Minato. 

Staring at those yellowing pages, Kakashi could spend hours on each one, fingertips lingering on the black haired teen with a bright smile. 

  
5

Sakura discovered her sensei’s constant state of anxiety through reports from the nurses. Just like the early stages of his amnesia, Kakashi hid it very well until recently, most likely at the end of his ropes. He had asked for a mirror, staring at himself in it every so often, gaze lingering on his left eye. Gradually, the time he spent on this activity overtook the hours of flipping through albums, and even if someone placed the specific pictures of Team Minato before him, it wasn’t enough to distract Kakashi. 

Until one day, when Sasuke was visiting, Kakashi uttered his first words in months— 

“Why is this eye not _red_?” 

It was a question nobody could answer. Team seven organised a hasty meeting, finally deciding to take away all the photos from Kannabi Bridge to the Fourth War in order to relieve their teacher’s worries. Tomorrow, they hoped, Kakashi’s memory would begin as a clean slate again, and he wouldn’t recall that he once had an eye that was red. 

It seemed to have worked— Kakashi spent much less time looking at the mirror. What happened three days later, though, proved to team seven they were completely wrong. 

“Rokudaime he… he smashed the mirror.” The nurse on duty shook all over. She had looked freaked out, face pale and lips trembling uncontrollably. 

“ _He tried to gauge out his own left eye with the glass shards._ ” 

The room sank into a dead silence. It was a long time later when someone finally broke it. 

“ _He still remembers Obito._ ” The Nanadaime stared at the patient lulled into a deep sleep by medicine, and said quietly, “He forgot us, he forgot everyone, all except Obito.” 

6

Kakashi had a dream. 

He dreamt that he arrived in a strange place where it was white no matter where he looked. No far in front of him was a man with spiky, slipped, white hair who was fitted with a high collared purple robe, the right half of his face covered in scars and eyes red as blood. 

Kakashi looked at the stranger. “Who are you?” 

The man smile was soaked in sorrow. “Of course… this wouldn’t work.” 

He next heartbeat the man’s body began shrinking, his hair changed colour and the scars faded, disappeared; when the metamorphosis stopped, before Kakashi stood a raven haired boy in a blue jacket and blue pants, a pair of orange goggles hanging from his neck. The boy looked up at Kakashi, eyes brimming with expectation, “What about this?” 

The unfamiliarity disappeared from Kakashi’s eyes as they widened, “I remember you,” he said slowly, “You’re… Uchiha Obito.” 

The moment that name escaped his lips, something bright and colourful bloomed, replacing the lifeless blankness in his eyes. 

“Obito.” He repeated, as gentle as a murmur in a dream, “Obito, Obito, Obito…” 

Amidst the whispers, Kakashi’s own body began to shrink, regaining its youth, its health. When it stopped, he was the same age as Obito. 

Obito opened his arms, enveloping the silver haired teen in a crushing hug. 

“I’m here to get you,” he said, “Bakakashi.” 

7

The fourth year after losing his memories, one day at three in the morning, Konoha’s Rokudaime Hokage ceased breathing in his dream. 

“Sensei left peacefully.” Sakura said. On the day it actually happened, she was the calmest out of the three. Maybe because ten years prior, she had lived through the same thing with her other sensei. “He didn’t leave in pain.” 

The two stood in silence by the white hospital bed. The white robes were draped atop the cupboard, but no one wanted to move first. _Their sensei was just sleeping, and touching him would wake him up—_ they told themselves that in their hearts, trying to draw out the lie. 

Suddenly, the hospital door creaked open. Naruto turned with red eyes, not surprisingly, it was the last of the former sannin. 

“You should feel happy for him.” Orochimaru said, “Not every shinobi can die of old age on a bed.” 

“I know he went to you once.” Sasuke didn’t turn around, “What did you talk about?”

“And that’s what I’m here for.” Orochimaru replied. He ambled into the room, stopping the the foot of the bed. He stared at Kakashi for a while before turning his gaze towards team seven. “He wanted me to pass this on to you: “Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, please forgive my selfishness.” 

“What does that mean?” Sakura sniffed. 

“Because he gave up the opportunity to remember you.” Orochimaru sat down, “I know you have a lot of questions… I’ll start from the beginning.” 

“Kakashi did come to me. Transplantation of the sharingan had left serious repercussions for his brain, meaning one day he would loose all his memories— don’t look at me like that, director Haruno, you know why he didn’t let you do that inspection. But that’s only one of the reasons he came to me, the other one was, I had the ability to preserve his memories. 

“How is that possible? Naruto cried, “Sensei’s memories…” 

“I didn’t say _all of it_.” The snake man interrupted, emphasising the last words. “It’s a jutsu called ‘ _Memory Solidification_ ’, which allows a specific part of a person’s memory to be preserved all the way unto death. It is not, however, a jutsu with one hundred percent success rate; the shorter the memory, the younger that person was when he experienced it, the higher the chance of success.” 

“So Kakashi choose memories from when Team Minato was still alive.” Sasuke said, “So he still remembers Obito.” 

“More accurately,” Corner of the scientist’s lips lifted in an unreadable quirk, “What he chose to preserve, was the three days before and after the _fight of Kannabi Bridge_.” 

For the three who had already heard about their sensei’s past, it was the biggest shock. 

“And one more thing I want to clarify,” Orochimaru coughed, “In reality, Kakashi had forgotten everyone in team Minato too. He couldn’t recall their identity, personality, or any of their lives; the battle of Kannabi Bridge was the only impression he has of them. That memory would’ve been like a movie on repeat, relaying over and over again in his mind. In that movie, a boy called Uchiha Obito sacrificed himself to save his life, and gave him an eye.” 

“…why?” Sakura asked, “but why… why those particular days?”

The three days that changed Kakashi’s life, the three days that agonised him for the rest of his life. 

“I get it.” It wasn’t Orochimaru who answered her this time, but Naruto. “Because sensei didn’t want the Obito in his memories to be a usuratonkachi that liked to boast, and was always late.”

“ _He wanted the Obito he remembered to be a hero_.” 

For a long time nobody spoke. Then Sasuke bent down, gently lifting the sheets that covered their sensei. Team Seven found in surprise, that their teacher was gripping tightly a strip of paper that was already crumpled, the words faded. Despite all that, the sharp, neat handwriting could be seen, not messy in the least. 

It was written when Kakashi had still remembered. 

“Was it you who gave this to sensei, too?” Sakura turned to Orochimaru, who smiled without denying it. 

Actions tender, Naruto pried open his sensei’s fingers, slowly sliding out the note. There was only one short sentence, Kakashi’s reminder for his future, memory-less self:

_Live, for Obito._

Sasuke interrupted the the silence that followed. “No.”

“He meant, _for us._ ”

  
（THE END）  
————————————  
Notes from the author:   
There’s a lot of things that not scientific about amnesia in this story, please do not compare it to the real illness.   
As for whether Boruto and Sarada mentioned in section 3 were together or each had their own families, please interpret according to your own preferences.   
Thank you for reading!

Notes from the translator:  
Totally different kind of feeling to ‘love, and love’ and ‘Faith Undone’, but honestly, I cried twice reading this. Then I cried one more time while translating it. My tears for this entire month had been spent on this one…

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is translated from chinese, with the original work posted on LOFTER (link: https://ururu293.lofter.com/post/1e55b98f_10c79c12).  
> Here's the author's ao3 page as well - go check it out! Her other fics are fantastic too <3<3<3  
> https://archiveofourown.org/users/kelakair/pseuds/kelakair


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